Generaly this is a shameless repo
Got it from our old friend rogue who posted it a loooong long while ago on the original forums.. Some members names might not ring too many bells for the newer members, but it's still, simply, the best post ever..
The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"
<!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]-->
[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]
Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Rogue is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, johnny5. So everyone, please put your hands together for Rogue!
[The crowd whoops and hollers]
Jerry: Okay, now Rogue you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: tokra.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Jerry: Okay, okay, well tokra, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Rogue, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... smokey!
You: What the HELL!!!
[Out of nowhere you pull out a panzer. smokey reaches for the mp40. Out of the shadows hamster appears]
hamster: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here smokey.
smokey: Because I saw Rogue and hamster making out at {AR}27map server!
[The crowd goes absolutely insane]
hamster: That's a lie! I was home watching Zeman's:101 uses of spam followed by just how many ETPLAYER's are out there ???
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem smokey?
smokey: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with johnny5 who has recently become engaged to hamster.
[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring johnny5 out here because Rogue had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... tokra that's right!
johnny5: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with tokra! You know how I feel about tokra!
hamster: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with tokra!
johnny5: Because I knew that I could never have tokra. But Rogue promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
hamster: What about respect for my feelings!
[smokey walks suddenly across the stage, embracing johnny5]
smokey: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
hamster: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[hamster runs across the room and wraps his arms around you tightly]
hamster: Rogue take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...
[The crowd does its bit]
hamster: Married?
[You nod]
hamster: Who the hell are you married to? When .. when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to tokra.
johnny5: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
tokra: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had s3x 13 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight .. Rogue is married to tokra who johnny5 has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now johnny5 has recently become engaged to hamster who was recently spotted kissing Rogue in {AR}27map server. Now on top of this, smokey has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with johnny5.
tokra: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
this thread smashed AR into laughing for 2 weeks or so.
